Never Satisfied-Itis

"She's just never satisfied!!"

I hear men say this all the time about their women and then I realized that I've thought the same thing about the men I've attracted. But, what is really going on? How can everyone be so dissatisfied with each other? Perhaps, the truth is, we are dissatisfied with ourselves.  So, we start to attract the very thing we are.  And logically speaking, when you have preconceived notions of how you feel about yourself and how you feel about others don't you start attracting people who have similar thoughts and ideas as you into your circle? Better yet, what's inside of you that makes you feel dissatisfied? Can't it be changed with changing your perception?

**When I look to the picture at my right, in the yellow and white sleeveless, from a photo shoot I did years ago, I remember the me I was loving then. How those white shorts hugged my little size three hips that were headed to a size two. How I didn't feel self-conscious wearing those shorts and that my legs no longer jiggling, and how I am only ten pounds away from that weight currently and I feel almost just as good. But most of all, I remember how satisfied I was. I was more than content, I was happy with all of my hard work and the scheduled training workouts I had had with my personal training class. I HAD to be present for class to get a good grade and we HAD to train our partners for a grade for an hour every time we went to class. I got a special kind of satisfaction from the support all my classmates gave me in doing my very first competition. It was one of the members that brought it up to me that he thought I could do one. Honestly speaking, if he hadn't given me the idea and pointed out a flyer posted by my first coach, I may have never done it. In saying that, I didn't realize how much their kind words, encouragement and questions about my competition goals really helped me do my best until the class was over and the support was no longer there at that capacity. I didn't realize how satisfied their support made me, until it was gone.

But, to be completely real, I wasn't as satisfied as I had thought.  Even when I was 10 pounds less, it still wasn't enough for me. If I was a size 4, I wanted to be a size 3 and when I was a size 3, I wanted to be a size 2 and so on.  It seems as though, to be human, is to be dissatisfied with something. We all are so hungry to be better or the "best" at something and to be quite honest, I'm tired. I'm ready to be the "best" at being me. And, I don't need a reward for it. Thats how you maintain happiness. Loving the you, you already are.

At present, someone else, another training mentor, had to remind me that the me I want to look like, is not the me, that I genetically am. Who doesn't want to look like a ballerina? Ummm, I do!! And I don't want quadzilla-ass legs!! But, here I am, with them. In having that conversation, and in him pointing out that I wasn't accepting the me I couldn't change but was determined to change, I realized I could achieve my best results in just accepting what I have.

While on my hiatus in all of 2012 and part of 2013, I took a break from working out vigorously. I hadn't realized that there wasn't ever a time I took more than two days off from training since 2002. I'm serious. I had a two-day rule that I lived like it was the Word from the Bible. So, the 'burnt-out-me' took a break. I discovered the me that existed without being obsessed with working out and it was a self-discovery worth living, where there wasn't an incessant need to pound the hell out of my body. In taking time to "smell the roses", go on walks, do yoga, fast, meditate, eat when hungry not according to a diet and just do activities that weren't part of a routine that I actually enjoyed, I discovered the me that was lying dormant the whole time. The me that didn't need to work out 6 days a week to feel good or keep the weight off. I took time to  be apart of nature, to notice how beautiful a sunny day is, or to just be thankful that I got another day, another chance, to get life even more right than the day before. I developed a satisfaction with what I already had instead of always being in a place of not enough. Its what I call 'never satisfied-itis'. It is the best disease of the mind to always being unhappy, insufficient, inadequate and not enough. The battles that most of us face, aren't in any institution, or trying to rep out the last 2 reps and failing, but the battle starts, continues or ends, in the mind. When you have gratitude for the things you already have and you aren't spending so much time focusing on what you don't have, don't you find yourself richer? Further, don't you open yourself up to receiving what you really want when you are satisfied with what you have?

Now, being 10 pounds heavier, I'm the more satisfied with me at this weight than I've ever been since high school. Its the same EXACT weight!!! So, what other choice do I have other than to be satisfied?

Notice, that the problem we oftentimes have with others, is a problem we have with ourselves. When anyone tells me that another person is never satisfied, I find often that they too, are never satisfied with themselves either, when I look at how they live, what they tell me and how happy or unhappy they seem. So, stop wishing for what someone else has, or better yet, what you think someone else has. Everyone has a battle. And alot of the time, people are not honest with their battles. They will post their wins and let everyone share in that, but oftentimes, its the battle that someone is going through that reveals a truth that can empower everyone more than the win can.  If you don't see someone fighting, how can you truly empathize with their win? In any case, we have all had 'Never Satisfied-Itis'. When you find yourself here, think about these things: Are you breathing? Did you accomplish anything at all today? What do you appreciate about yourself? Do you have your health? And best, what are you grateful for?

'Never Satisfied-Itis' can best be cured by evaluating what you have now, that perhaps other people may wish they had. When you put it in that perspective your perception on how bad things seem goes away. Sometimes the grass really isn't greener, its just as green as your own lawn. Be happy with what you already have. Because there are plenty of people with less.

Love the you, you're In. Because there is only one you and God made you uniquely and by His intentional design.