"You must be the change you wish to see." -Gandhi
Sometimes its much easier to let go and give up than it is to keep hanging on. Especially when it could almost seem like there is little to hang onto. But, when letting go or 'giving up' is mostly what you know then you know nothing else can come from giving up than letting something die. Whether it be a dream, a goal, a business, a relationship or a title. When something is dead, it has no life, it has no breath, it has no future. And when you start to think of giving up as death or as something without a future perhaps moving forward may be the better thing (generally speaking) than letting something like a dream die...
It has happened recently, that just about every area of my life has completed a cycle that I could perceive as a death...at home, at work, in love, out of love (with myself and others) and bouts of it in friendship. Being stuck in a place where there is darkness is a kind of death, especially if you live there or the cycle of all of these things seems to be offering little to no change despite changing routes to achieving success. But all that really matters is our perception..because thats what creates our reality. So, if we perceive something as a failure and then give up then it truly becomes a failure because there is no life left in it when we choose to let it go and let the dream die with it. I can't stay there.
If you want acceptance, be acceptance. If you want love, be love. If you want to win, be won over. If you want to be treasured, be a treasure. And, you will draw these things to you. Our power lies within us and is immeasurable. Perhaps, we should all start testing it?
While coming out of a cycle of darkness, I realized I was in a place of possibly reliving my past where placing hope in my future was not saving me immediately, when the now is all any of us have. That cycle of looking forward, instead of being grateful for my present was a fleeting feeling of habitually chasing after something that I indeed already have when I change my perception. So, in understanding this and in an act of gratitude towards myself, I headed down to the gym to breathe life into me again NOW. Before I left, I meditated and sought out a spiritual mentor but found darkness there as I continued to try to spread life. And then when I was done at the gym, I headed to my favorite spot to run over a bridge with troubled water underneath it and it felt like love. The saving part for myself felt like love. Willing myself to jog over this bridge after a long workout, tired, on few carbs and making it to the end without stopping felt like love and winning and surviving and aliveness. There I was, rescued from the depths of the beginning of a depression - I saved me. Like I always do. But, I wasn't alone. Family members were sharing their depression with me, friends were having hard days of wanting to give up and even the greatest people I would look to for positivity were also wanting to give up after feeling so drained by life and from giving of themselves with little appreciation in return. And honestly, that was one of my greatest battles as well. The lack of feeling appreciated. Retreating to silence and deep thought has helped me continue to be and seek goodness and love.
The words "Never give up" had been swirling in my head after my best friend had sent me a random card in the mail that told me "I love you. I believe in you." And the random "I love you" she told me in the middle of a phone conversation we had days ago felt like she lit up a darkened room within me with those three words. Acceptance. Peace. Recognition. Love. Appreciation. All feelings came within me again as though they'd left for brief seconds. And then, I felt them again on the drive to get in a long run.
**On my way to saving myself from myself, in running over this bridge over water I saw a shiny black BMW in the lane next to me. The male driver (headed in the same direction) sped up as if to race me. And, as I let him roar ahead of me in his two door and me, in my four door SUV, I was politely surprised to read as he crossed over into my lane the words "NVRGVEUP" on his license plate. It hit me, that I was never alone all along. That we are connected in experiencing the same thing and our purpose is to always share the message of hope and a future and to treasure the present with everyone that feels distressed. And that someone up there and my spiritual guides down here love me and show me love all the time through these signs they place along the way that I would never dismiss as coincidence. No. This is love. And, I will feel it so I can keep going. So I won't need to give up because I have love. I don't need to give up because love is life. And I, have enough of both to continue to do more than just survive. So anytime someone tries to take something away from me, denies me, steals from me, cheats me, etc. I will take it as a blessing that they showed me the real them and that I am the blessing because I will not do that to them. Why? Because I have love...and guess what? I'm still sharing it.
Never give up because giving up is death. Keep going, because growth and movement is life and love.
Loving the you you're in is not just a feeling, its the action that matters the most.
